Bad Buzz - Aye carumba ... my kid's report card was awful!

In the search for "How to respond to bad social media buzz", I found a number of comparisons to responding to other social circumstances. If you consider a "social circumstance" an open conversation between people, and if it involves bad buzz then the circumstances are "just right".

Similar bad social media buzz situations may include:

• Responding to a bad report card,
• Handling a heckler, and
• Handling personal criticism in an evaluation.

Today I'll start with the "bad report card" scenario, and compare that back to the guidelines for how to respond to bad social media buzz. Over the next couple of days I'll also look at the heckler and the evaluation.

Responding to a bad report card
I'm a happy guy ... I haven't had this situation with my kids yet. Looking around on Google I found three good sites right away:

• Families.com, Nicki Bradley,
• SelfGrowth.com, Connie Hammer, and
• TheCuteKid.com, by Teresa.

To paraphrase the three articles, here's what they say to do when you do run into the bad report card:

1. Keep your response in check. Your first reactions to the report card - whether good or bad will have a major impact. If you see a bad grade(s), take time to respond. "Count to 10", even up to a full 24 hours! Think about your goal and your child's needs and feelings.
   
2. Reevaluate your expectations. Maybe your child is actually fulfilling his potential with the grade he got. Maybe you know that there are reasons that your child got that grade (e.g. maybe you aren't helping him wiht his homework). Consider your child's natural strengths and weaknesses and not just your desired strengths and weaknesses before forming expectations.
   
3. Think about the things that matter most to you and your child. Likely that is learning and progress, and not the ugly grade on the paper. Concentrate on the learning process and ask questions, like "What did you learn (in science, math, art. etc.) this term? What did you enjoy? What was the easiest thing? What was the hardest thing? Why do you think you got this grade? What do you think you could have changed or done differently? What do you want to work on next time?"
4. Have a discussion about the issues. Check your "Lecturer" hat at the door, and engage your child in a conversation. Ask, listen, chat, discuss. Again - more open-ended questions like: "Are you having problems with the subject matter? How do you get along with your teacher? How do you get along with your classmates? What are your tests like? How do you think you could do better at them?" Listen carefully to see if you can understand the problem, and then seek a solution together.
5. Meet with the teacher - ideally in person, and ideally with your child along for the conversation. Stay objective in this conversation, and keep your emotions in check. Discuss what the teacher views as the problem and compare this with what your child views as the problem. Ensure you have a meeting of the minds on the reasons for the bad grades. You might even ask the teacher to provide you with updates on how your child is doing in order to help everyone evaluate progress and avoid future surprises.
6. Solve the problem. Set a plan, based on your child's input, his teacher's input, and your input. Ensure your child is doing the work and homework he is supposed to do (and help him schedule & do it), adjust your expectations, hire a tutor or get extra help from the teacher. Also, get feedback regularly from your child and from his teacher.
   
7. Discuss and consider natural or logical consequences. The natural consequence of not having good grades is ... bad grades. While a parent may be tempted to remove important things from a child's life - such as activities, toys, and so forth in order to "punish" the child, or "encourage him" to work harder, these consequences are not directly tied to bad grades. The best natural consequence is likely to set aside time each day where your child site down and do & review their homework each night. Sometimes this may mean cutting back on activities and play time.
   
8. "Start Anew". Wipe the slate clean, with your new expectations and goals - and more importantly your child's goals. Focus on your child's positive personality traits that you know will carry them well into the future. Boost your child's confidence by telling them that they can do it and then help them achieve it.
   

In comparison to the guidelines for responding to bad social media buzz:

• Be careful - That's the "Count to 10" step.
  
• Contest fraudulent / wrong comments - That's part of the "Have a conversation" step. You may need to ask some questions in order to contest an inaccurate comment.
  
• Write a response - Again, part of the conversation. Ask for more details if you need them, and even ask that the blogger contact your customer service department directly (you probably don't want to have a heated conversation in the open public domain of the internet, and you probably also don't want to give out your own contact information).
  
• Fix the problem & upload a proof (like a picture) to prove the fix - That's the step related to "Solve the Problem".
  
• Report findings back into the company - These are the "natural consequences". When you report back into the company, people get to hear real-life stories about your customer's experiences, and the fix that makes everyone happier. This will reinforce the fix
• Participation becomes content - This correlates with your first reaction to the report card. Becoming a tempest in a teapot will only sour your child's image of you. Writing a bad blog response will sour your brand.
  
• Bring in a professional - This is parallel to hiring a tutor to help you.

So, there we go, the model for dealing with a bad report card is similar to the model for dealing with bad social media buzz.